WHEN IS THE BEST TIME TO TEXT A GUY OR SHOULD YOU TEXT HIM FIRST?
Are you going nuts in thinking why he haven’t sent you a text yet after quite some time or why he suddenly stopped texting you? A guy shares some ideas, his rule on texting and surprisingly it turned out insightful and good.
1. DON’T TEXT A GIRL OR A GUY YOU’VE KNOWN FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK.
This is my biggest text rule. Seriously, don’t do it. Texting a friend or girlfriend drunk is different than texting a woman you’ve met recently. Trust me on this, you will just end up to text messages you regret sending next morning.
2. IF THE PERSON DIDN’T REPLY RIGHT AWAY DON’T GET OFFENDED OR SAY SOMETHING NEEDY OR EVEN SEND MORE TEXTS.
This is something that is applicable to texting anyone. We all have had a situation where there was one person who seemed to always be available and reply quickly to our texts and it would turn out into a long conversation every time we spoke and then when the time comes that we didn’t reply right away, you become a needy person and sulk. This was a problem I had for a very long time. Don’t be that guy/girl. If you do this then the other person may want to text you but won’t because they don’t want it turning out into a long drawn out conversation.
3. HE DOESN’T TEXT ME OR REPLY BACK
Don’t get offended if he or she doesn’t reply back. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I remember countless times that I’d text a girl and she wouldn’t reply and it’d ruin my day. I’d be obsessing over why she hadn’t replied and if I had said something wrong. Once you start going down this path it just keeps going.
When you start worrying about something you worry about that one thing and then other pieces around that and then all these emotions kick in and you start feeling pessimistic and you paint this nasty picture in your head; it’s like an avalanche. There could be hundreds of reasons she didn’t reply. She could have been out, she was with someone and it would be rude for her to be texting while with this person, she was in the middle of something when you had texted her. Seriously, there are countless reasons. And maybe you said something that threw her off in a good way and she didn’t know how to reply.
4. DON’T SEND MORE THAN TWO UNANSWERED TEXTS.
This is something else I had a problem with. Exercise some chill. There’s a difference between being persistent and being needy. If she hasn’t sent you a text and you have this urge to send her something to gauge the situation don’t do it. Wait 3-4 days, if she still hasn’t replied, send her a text and don’t even think about the fact that she hadn’t replied to your last text. If you do this, make sure you either send something that’ll spark some form of emotion in her. Never ask why she didn’t reply to your last text or if you said something wrong.
5. DON’T PUT PRESSURE ON TEXTING
This is also an important one: make sure, especially if you’ve just started texting her, that your texts don’t put much pressure on her and that they make her feel some kind of emotion. You don’t want your texts to always make her laugh or to always be something that makes her blush, but you do want some emotion.
6. SILENCE AND TENSION BUILDING CAN BE GREAT.
I remember years ago I was watching a standup comedian and for over five minutes not one person laughed. Everyone was feeling uncomfortable and you could feel the tension. Then, out of nowhere, he made a joke that had everyone laughing and in tears. You could also correlate this to when you’re out with a girl and you’re flirting and everything you say is something flirtatious and almost a double entendre. You’re eye fucking each other and you both know what’s going on but you don’t stop. That tension is good tension. Same thing goes with unanswered texts. I am NOT an advocate of “fucking with a girls head” or “playing games” but if done right, and you aren’t an asshole about it, not replying in certain situations or waiting longer than usual could be a good thing. For example, if she says something sexual you may want to wait longer than usual (don’t wait an entire day) to reply. You know how most men who don’t get a reply will think they said something wrong or back peddle and redact their last text because they worry it may have offended her? Well, do the same thing to her. Word of caution: don’t be a fucking asshole. If she says something to you that shows her being vulnerable and you know it was hard for her to tell you don’t make her wait for your reply.
7. BE UNPREDICTABLE.
I hate doing this but you need to vary your texts, their length, frequency and when you reply. I genuinely hate doing this, yet it works and it’s almost a must. Don’t change your tone though. If she is able to distinguish your texts and knows it’s you without having to look at the number then you’ve set a tone that separates you from the rest of the guys texting her, and that’s a good thing.
8. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS END YOUR TEXTS MORE THAN HIM OR HER.
Generally, you want to end more than the majority of conversations. Again, don’t be a fucking asshole and stop replying if she just texted you how awful her day was or anything along those lines. Don’t be afraid to stop texting mid conversation.
9. LONG TEXTS ARE NOT A GOOD IDEA.
Again, this was another one of my major problems. Think of a text like a tweet, where you can’t write more than a certain amount of characters… seriously, imagine that it won’t go through and you need to shorten it. However, unlike Twitter, you don’t have to jeopardize your grammar or spelling. I mention Twitter because I read Dom Sagolla’s 140 Characters and it helped me a lot. Now, whenever I come to send a text I quickly glance to make sure I haven’t made any typos and make sure autocorrect didn’t mess anything up and ask myself if I can make it shorter, if it’s more than three sentences. (This entire process takes no more than 30 seconds.)
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